Loser

Posted on by phillippa68

I’m SUCH a…

My stupid keys have been misplaced
I left them on that bench, I swear
Each useless step I’ve now retraced
I cannot find them anywhere

I’m sure I saw them over there
And so I search with heightened haste
Location skills in disrepair
Those useless keys have been misplaced

I’m on all fours now, frantic-paced
Is that them down behind the chair?
A futile search is what I’ve faced
I left them on that bench, I swear

To ditch my keys is hardly rare
I just don’t have the time to waste
Though I don’t have a month to spare
Each stupid step I’ve now retraced

My kneecaps need to be replaced
My loser status can’t compare
The major fact I’ve now embraced
I cannot find them anywhere

For tossing keys, I have a flair
From spouse, I’ll have to take a baste
This “loser” gene is SO unfair
The scent of keys forever chased!

My brain has fried, my mind erased, the proof above, one bitter taste…

~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright P J Ross
27122016

Image sourced from Google Images

 

Employed

Posted on by phillippa68

work ethics Vs starvation…

The day has come and I’m annoyed
Our well is dry I must concede
It seems I’ll have to be employed
A part time job is what I need

For we have hungry mouths to feed
It’s something that we can’t avoid
And so it seems they’re all agreed
The day has come and I’m annoyed

Those extra freedoms I’ve enjoyed
No longer will be guaranteed
We’re floating in a cashless void
Our well is dry I must concede

And so with talent I must lead
My skill set has to be deployed
I’m labour-bound and can’t be freed
It seems I’ll have to be employed

Of conscience I have been devoid
From working ethics I have fleed
My scruples, are but all destroyed
A part time job is what I need

My ship sits idle, anchored, buoyed
Though wailing winds prevail and plead
So bludge no more on land ahoyed
To job horizon, I’ll proceed

The day has come…

~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright P J Ross
04082013

Image sourced from Google Images

 

Lustre

Posted on by phillippa68

I’m a little steamed…

The smear campaign is wearing thin
Your jokes are getting old,
This bullied shit is weighing in
You assholes must be told,

My name is such a dirty word
You can’t seem to abolish,
You’re all convinced this well crapped turd
can take some two-bit polish,

Well, sorry people that’s not me
I’ve frankly had enough,
For anyone can damn well see
I mostly come out rough,

So don’t poohoo my label, folks
I know I don’t pass muster,
Forget the buff, the thousand strokes
This shit won’t gain no lustre!

~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright P J Ross
05122016

Image created by P J Ross

 

Hellstra

Posted on by phillippa68

you pack of incompetent bastards…

Your outages are wearing thin
This client’s copped it on the chin
and NO, it’s not a passing phase
To get online takes fucking days

I rang and waited on the phone
But got the hint I’m on my own
You’re on the nose, your service pongs
Your tips just didn’t right my wrongs

I listened to your dumb advice
I disconnected damned device
Delays are only getting worse
I’ve suffered through the red light curse

Yes, as I feel the Hellstra burn
I wonder…will my joy return?
My internet is on the blink
As hosts go, pal, you fucking stink

You promised you had sorted it
Your CEO is full of shit
I have no fucking web address
I’ve just closed down my business

You pricks have rarely got my back
You will not ease it up my jack
I’m so crapped off, your Telco sucks
You’ve shafted me and thieved my bucks

I’m going broke I’m in a hole
Some heads had better fucking roll
My broadband is a piece of snot
I’m billed for shit I haven’t got

So there it is, you must agree
How dare you pull that shit on me?
Ten days I had no internet
You blew me off, you made me fret

So don’t have the audacity
To charge me an outstanding fee
My payment shall be somewhat late
Because you bastards made me wait!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright P J Ross
04122016

Image created by P J Ross

 

Bird

Posted on by phillippa68

I am a…

Inside an egg I’m specially made
I grace the world whilst getting laid
Protected, nurtured till I hatch
I’m bald and squawking, whatta catch
I am a bird…

So now I’m someones precious pet
My antics make the internet
I’m tethered good, they’ve got me chained
They seem to think I should be trained
I am a bird…

Well…

I’ve mocked and mimicked all I’ve heard
I’ve mastered every dirty word
I ate my seed I’ll have you know
and even drank the H20
Yes, I’m a bird…

This beak is sharp, my shriek is shrill
I just shit on their window sill
When horny I’ll just root my perch
And if I went, I’d swear in church
For I am bird…

There’s no more I’m prepared to do
I’m done with circus tricks for you
I did that stupid little dance
For Christ sake give my wings a chance
I am a bird!

That big blue sky is all I see
You heartless bastards, set me free!
I’ll make your home life hell on earth
and screech for all I’m fucking worth
‘Cause, I’m a bird

Later…

The feathers flew and not just mine
I got the flick, I crossed the line
A life of freedom now preferred
It paid to be a downright turd
A fucking bird!

~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright P J Ross
–03/12/2016–

Image sourced from Google Images